Mademoiselle Boe

Dear Diary, Tomorrow is funeral time. For the first time in my life. I dont know how Im going to...

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:16:00 -0400

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is funeral time. For the first time in my life. I dont know how Im going to react or what to expect but its during sad circumstances that my class find their re-union after one year.

My weekend has been really good. Some friends from the UK came to visit and as to be expected it was a crazy swear-word filled weekend. We went to the fabulous F12 which is a great place to chill out during summer Stockholm nights.

Apart from that well, a lot has been going on. I finally have a job ready for me in August and Im trying to fill in the afternoon gap of my day. I am currently applying for a whole lot of baby sitting - something I know I both enjoy and Im good at. Do I dare to say that life is going pretty good at the moment? Well, I dont know. Life always seem to have its suprises for me when I can finally rest my stressful heart for a moment - it all tumbles down again. I can´t control it unfortunatly.

Sometimes I wish I was a bit like my friends. Their life seems to have been planned out just as they wanted it to be. Stress free. I dont know if its me being unorganized or if its me having very bad luck but damn do I wish I could trade sometimes!

Anyways, enough moaning for now.

Back to Simpsons.

You can never fail when you try

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 10:11:51 -0400

Its not a mystery that love appears when you least expect it. Mine appeared almost 1 year ago and it hasn’t been a pleasure cruise. But who ever said that love was easy? That everything just magically clicks and sparks fly. I must admit, I used to think like that - until I actually experienced it all.

There has been many tears running down my face. My times I wished I never fell in love. But those moments where I felt true love made me realize what its all about. Those butterflies, the magical kisses and the moments when you look at your beloved and realize that this is it - is something that I would never trade.

And even though its not perfect. I know that its real.

If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself, then make the change.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:51:47 -0400

Dear Diary,

Last night I was watching the Michael Jackson funeral on tv. I must admitt I did shed a fear tears, well not a few, more like many, many tears. Its strange dont you think? You dont know a person but still you feel the pain that their family is feeling. I mean, I never knew Michael Jackson and I was far from the biggest fan but I still cried. I still felt that sorrow and pain that he had to deal with during his life. The feeling of constantly being judged by the tabloids, feeling lonely even though half the world loved him so much and never really having the oppertunity to experience a proper childhood.

I loved Michael Jacksons music, from the beginning to the end. There are plently of songs that remind me of certain moments in my life. The song, “You are not alone” always brings me back to the time when my parents had their divorce and I felt so lonely because I had no one to share my thoughts with. I turned to the song for comfort and those exact words “You are not alone” comforted me during the nights. I remember when me and my friends where “MJ crazy” - we wore our hats, we sang the songs and we had the posters on our wall. I recall one day when I was at my friends house wearing my hat I rang the doorbell and my friend opened the door with a knife pointing towards me. Apprently, the hat had reminded her of a murder - and apperently that was me. That hat was on my head for quite a while. But once it went off - my love for Michael never dissapeard. Secretly, I loved him just as much as I did before.

When Michael Jackson died I remember thinking it was a joke. To me, and to many others Michael Jackson was immortal. I guess thats why his death still hasnt sunken into me yet. Michael Jackson, just like Elvis and many other celebrities of our time have often been thought of as immortal. In my world, there was no chance that he would die. I could not imagien him being gone, not being able to prouduce a new album or preform at a concert.

Sadly, his loss - is someone elses gain. After his death Michaels music has once again flourished to its golden age. All the accusations, all the history of the King of Pop has suddenly dissapeard. Which is good, but so typical. So two-faced. Once he died, everyone appriciates him. The media and the music industry is bathing in money right now because of this unfortunate incident. The apologies are pouring in from every possible angel. Ironic huh? But as they say - You never really realize what you miss until its gone.

I will miss Michael Jackson. It will take some time to realize that he is gone. Whatever the media portrayed Michael as, I believe that we have no right to judge him. There is always two sides to a story. Michael was, and forever will be one of the greatest entertainers we where blessed to have on this planet. And in the end, that is what we must focus on.

“The only predictable thing about life is its unpredictablity”.

The Muffin Bakery

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:56:19 -0400

Dear Diary,

Today has been one of those days that reminds you of yesterday. Basically, I have been doing nothing. And I did nothing the day before that as well. Oh, and I did nothing the day before that as well! I think you get the point. Im currently looking for a job and its harder than I thought. With this economical crisis going on (Yes it has hit Sweden…) it seems to be impossible to get a job and acutally keep it. I have been replying my misstakes in my mind plenty of times but it just dosent seem to add up. Surely, I cant be doing everything wrong - can I?

You know what is funny though? I never acutally thought that I would be bored of living this life. Having so much spare time and being able to just do whatever I want. But it does get boring. I wish that I could just get my routine back again and have my weekends as weekends and my weekdays like weekdays. I cross my fingers for tomorrows interview and hope for the best!

Its a little café in central Stockholm called the Muffin Bakery. When I applied for the job I acutally did think it was a Muffin Bakery luckly I was wrong. Its a cute little café that specializies in Muffins and “home-cooked” bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread and pasteries will be hard to resist tomorrow!

Im going to make sure that this goes well. I need this job. I need my routine more than ever. So cross your fingers for me and wish me good luck!

xoxo

Boe

Dear Diary, You know this will be my first post in my 4th blog? Its true. I tell you. I have had 4...

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:47:54 -0400

Dear Diary,

You know this will be my first post in my 4th blog? Its true. I tell you. I have had 4 different blogs in two different languages, and everytime I seem to get bored of it and start a new one. Frankly, its not the acutal “doing” that bores me. I love writing, I always have and always will. It gives me the oppertunity to express myself -its more about the acutal website that bores me. You see, even though I love to write I need some sort of creative freedom as well. The other websites where to “narrow” in that matter I guess. Hopefully this site will be better at that aspect. Anyways.